The Fleet

Walking between two interesting pubs in Clerkenwell/Farringdon in London, the Jerusalem Tavern and the Gunmakers (they have up to date information on their beers on their website which is sadly incredibly unusual for most pub websites), I was quite struck by the topography around Farringdon Road. It was quite unusual for London and more like a city like Paris or Amsterdam as there were two roads that were only built up on one side with a large void between them of about 50 yards or so. Moreover, the ground gently rose on each side of the gap. The void was spanned by bridges that spans the Metropolitan line and the Thameslink railway line beneath but the geography looked very like a river valley. 

Interestingly, a bit of research on the web shows that the tube and railway lines were actually built through the valley of the biggest of London’s hidden rivers — the Fleet. The river is contained in a storm drainage sewer that runs alongside the railway tracks. The Fleet itself is a fascinating subject — it rises in Hampstead and Highgate and passes into the Thames at Blackfriars via Kentish Town, Camden, St.Pancras, Farringdon, Clerkenwell, Smithfield, Holborn and (of course) Fleet Street. It is almost entirely covered over but water can be heard rushing down manhole covers at the time.

There’s a really excellent and comprehensive guide to the course of the hidden river on someone called London Geezer’s blog. It might make a good theme for a pub crawl?

23 to Think About…

Foster, James, Green

Brown, Ferdinand, Terry, Lescott, (with reluctance) Cashley Cole, Phil Neville

Beckham, Carrick, Phil Collins’ greatest fan, Frankie, Lennon, Cole (J), Milner, Barry, Hargreaves (assuming fit)

Rooney, Owen, Heskey, Defoe, Crouch

A bit light of the defence but Carrick should be able to cover and Crouch might do a job in an emergency.

Carrick and Owen Do Their South Africa Chances No Harm

For the next six months or so we can all play the game of second guessing Fabio Capello’s choice of his 22 or 23 for South Africa. Probably using up more column inches than anything else will be the fate of two players — Beckham and Owen. Interestingly, Owen’s rejuvenated career at Man Utd seems to be suiting him as his reduced involvement in matches seems to mean he’s got less chance of succumbing to the sorts of injuries that have plagued him between international tournaments. He showed tonight against Wolfsburg that he’s still incredibly predatory in and around the six yard box. He’s never likely to start for England but in a big match I think it’s worth having a fit Owen on the bench.

Man Utd’s incredible lack of defenders (only Evra is fit) shows the squad aspect of international selection. In the 22 or 23 there should be a few players who are flexible and Carrick did himself no harm by his unlikely pairing with Fletcher. He wasn’t brilliant against Wolfsburg and you’d never want to start him for England there but at least there’s a midfield player available who’s played centre back in the Champions League (and looks likely to play there against Villa on Saturday). I wonder whether some colossuses of the England midfield, like Stevie G, would be quite so happy to play there.

Who Needs Defenders…

…when you can finish a game with Fletcher as right-back and Carrick as centre-back (the only one) and still win 4-0 away? And also close the gap at the top of the Premiership with Neville, Ferdinand, Brown, O’Shea, Evans and Vidic either ill or injured. I’d suggest Berbatov might be a good bet to pair with Carrick against Wolfsburg (he wouldn’t have to much much so it might suit him). So long as Scholes isn’t played there.

Shearer said Scholes was the best player to come out of Man Utd in the recent future (maybe he might think him the best player anyway of recent times apart from himself?). The ginger prince scored a corker against West Ham that was unstoppable. Perhaps Darron Gibson has been taking lessons from the master as he’s now scored three thunderbolts from outside the area in the past five days?

Mark Hughes came up with the goods with an excellent City result against Chelsea with JT moaning about extremely hopeful handball calls, Lampard bottling his penalty and Carvalho showing his true colours with a stamp in Tevez’s back. A good match on ESPN for a change.

Who Says Football’s All About Money?

I saw one of the funniest things that’s been on the television all year on Match of the Day tonight — Jimmy Bullard’s ‘celebration’ of his penalty for Hull against Manchester City. He both simultaneously satirised the whole cult of ridiculous and self-aggrandising goal celebrations and also ridiculed his own team and manager. It had a sense of irony and timing that is well beyond the capacity of most stand-up comedians — performing in exactly the same spot on the pitch that his manager had chosen to use for his infamous open-air half-time rant at Eastlands last season.

As celebrations go, it knocks Peter Crouch’s robot dance into a cocked hat and shows that, despite all the money and hype, why football is deservedly popular — all human life is there.

How To Get Away With Outraging Public Decency

Easy in Brown’s Britain:

  1. Grovel to the judge like a dog
  2. Wear a a ‘smart grey suit, pink shirt and a blue-and-red striped military style tie’
  3. Come from a middle-class town like Macclesfield where mater and pater are likely to be rather rich enough to employ a decent defence lawyer for you
  4. Most importantly, blame everyone else but yourself especially ‘a culture of drinking too much’

The scumbag who urinated on the war memorial and wreaths could get himself a new career of advising other middle-class oiks from priveleged backgrounds about how easy it is to avoid taking personal responsibility for one’s actions.

He should have been locked up anyway for wearing ridiculously low-waisted jeans with shocking pink underwear protuding underneath — a mark of a complete and utter ‘merchant banker’ in any case. See the picture on the Sky site.

Every Little Counts?

Walk round certain supermarkets at the moment and you’d need a spreadsheet open on your trolley to work out the various multibuy options. The whole point seems to cover the store in bargain and money off and multisave stickers to try and give the impression that prices are being cut. The wine department is especially bad for this — with all the 3 for £10 on certain bottles and very similar shelf labels advertising half-price on wines (that are usually worth nowhere near the full price) — so shoppers probably end up with 2 of the £10 offer wines and one half price. It’s all become so complex than even the supermarkets themselves appear to have got confused. Here’s a shelf sticker spotted today at a well known store. Do the math, as the Americans say.

What a bargain!
What a bargain!

Only a few days to go to get this one…and it’s Vaseline Shower Gel, not any other of their products.

Mancy Deadmau5

I love Deadmau5’s song ‘I Remember’ and I found on the web that there’s a version of the video that features a bunch of Mancs and some seedy locations in Manchester. It’s all about planning a rave, which is not really my thing at all, and has some obnoxious Mancy character in expostulating about counter culture values. Maybe it’s meant to be a bit of a period piece from the 90s. The music is so good it could come from the late 80s.

Thornbridge Pioneer

I’ve always rated Thornbridge Brewery for its superb Jaipur IPA but last night I tasted another superb beer from the brewery — Pioneer. This was in the Wetherspoons in High Wycombe (the Falcon) which usually has interesting beer but not always at its best. However, the Pioneer was absolutely stunning — an incredible hop intensity for a beer that was 4.5%. The aroma was exactly the same as one gets in brewery tours when the hop cones are handed out for visitors to smell. It was in superb condition as well. (Unfortunately I had to drink the pint in about 10 minutes as I had to walk all the way round Wycombe to the bus station to get the bus as there was some Christmas lights funfair on in the centre of town.) Sadly the beer is a one-off as it was brewed specially for Wetherspoons and their 30th anniversary. I found this out as I just phoned the brewery to ask if I could buy any.

One thing I didn’t know is that one of the founders of Thornbridge left the brewery a couple of years ago to found another of my favourite new breweries — yes, Brewdog!

Mars and Sexists?

I must side with my friends the feminists and express outrage, shock and horror at the latest Marks and Spencers TV advertisement. (See it on the Guardian site here.) Let’s recruit Stephen Fry (oh, we can’t as he’s in the advert himself) and organise a mass Tweet of outrage at the sight of a French underwear model appearing in a television advert for a shop that sells, er, 25% of all women’s lingerie in the UK. Or is it the corrosive sight of Philip Glenister as Gene Hunt threatening to lure all men back to Neanderthal 70s sexism — his line ‘That girl prancing around in her underwear’ is incredibly demeaning to women, isn’t it? Ah, but he was at a bar drinking. We’ve already got bans on young people enjoying themselves drinking in adverts — maybe we need to ban washed-up, semi-alcoholic seventies throwbacks from endorsing products too? The funny thing is that companies like M&S spend thousands on focus groups to find out what television actors and celebrities their customers empathise with (‘Our research shows that his on-screen character in Ashes to Ashes is extremely popular with our customers and his lines in the ad are in keeping with that role’). It’s difficult to believe that M&S would pay Glenister’s no doubt large fee without being fairly sure about his popularity with their core customer base, which is principally women.

Travesty by Arrogant Cheats

There are a lot of grey areas in football but one where there is no doubt that the player is cheating and breaking the rules of the game is deliberate handball — not a case of ball kicked to flailing hand or whether it was upper arm a ball hit or the shoulder but an example where the player deliberately alters the course of the ball with conscious movements of the hand. So for Ireland to lose out on a place in the World Cup Finals to a piece of cheating that rivals Maradona’s famous 1986 goal against England is completely sickening. It takes a pretty arrogant player to even attempt something so blatant — but that’s the French for you. It will take a few gallons of Guinness to erase the memory of this disgraceful incident.

Roger vs. Brewdog

I happened to see a link to Roger Protz’s blog on the Swan Supping homepage where he has a real go at Brewdog for behaving non-sensibly. (Actually it could be that he’s most put out that the Independent sent Oz Clarke — a wine writer who surely cannot be trusted to write about beer — to cover the story rather than, perhaps, a well-known specialist beer writer?). I don’t know what juvenile antics they got up to with Oz but I heard the brewer interviewed on the Food Programme on Radio Four and he made a lot of sense. No doubt their very hoppy and alcoholic beers with in-yer-face names and labels represent something of a generational conflict with the CAMRA old-timers. It’s odd how they like to celebrate 35 years or more of campaigning by reminiscing about how radical they were then while criticising some of the more radical, exuberant brewers of the present. Protz seems to think Brewdog will antagonise the anti-alcohol lobby further with their 18% or so beers but CAMRA policy is now starting to face the fact that the more militant members of the anti-alcohol brigade will never be appeased. I think I’m less in the mild and best bitter camp than the Trashy Blonde on this one.

Charlie’s Artwork

Here’s a sneak preview of a fictional pub sign that might accompany something in the next Swan Supping — nifty use of my limited Photoshopping skills.

Beware All Who Set Foot Inside
Beware All Who Set Foot Inside

I’ll Be Popular This Christmas

I’ve just ensured my enduring popularity this Christmas — or perhaps guaranteed myself some exile from others’ jollity — as Amazon have just told me my copy of ‘Christmas from the Heart’ by Bob Dylan is on the way. I look forward to inflicting it on whoever I can.

If Dylan’s croaking, out of tune versions of ‘Winter Wonderland’ or ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ was used as backing music on the procession of television adverts crossing our screens at the moment then perhaps I’d feel more charitable towards the retailers who try and convince us it’s the season of peace and goodwill to all men already (when will they realise that’s for one day only?).